Who Are We?
by francescaalavin
Summary: Sequel to Who Am I and Who Will I Be. Alice meets a new family member and battles cancer head on. Final story.
1. Chapter 1

I wake up feeling pretty good, I'm completely bold now, but I wear Leo's beanies all the time and Kara gave me her eyebrow pencil so I don't look like an 'alien' as she so kindly put it. I've had 2 rounds of chemo now, this time around I haven't slept as much but I've puked a lot and passed out from walking too much. I haven't spoken to Jamie in quite a while, I walked past her room yesterday and saw a complete version of the painting I saw a few weeks back. She painted me, it's a beautiful painting. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, it just makes me feel for her. I want us to be friends. I get out of bed and get dressed. I walk to her room, she's personalised it a lot more now, making mine and Kara's room seem bland.

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Sure." She's hidden the painting of me away.

"How've you been?" I sit on her couch.

"I've been pretty good, Dr. Williams says I can go home soon."

"That's awesome, so you feel pretty good then?"

"I wouldn't say good, just not as bad as when I got here, which is a big improvement. So how are you?"

"Yeah I'm doing well I think, I feel okay, as okay as I can be." She smiles and sits on her bed, she fiddles with her sleeves the way I used to. "I just wanted to say sorry, for being so pushy before."

"Oh, it's fine. I was just struggling a lot and I took it out on you."

"Are you? Um-" I don't really want to say it.

"Over you? I don't know. I think my heads a bit of a mess right now and I don't know what I feel."

"I understand. I really want us to be friends."

"I want to be friends too, but," She sighs heavily, "I just don't think I can. I spent most of middle school being secretly in love with my best friend and she had no idea, it killed me, it contributed a lot to my issues. I just don't want to be like that again." I feel sad that she feels like this, but I get it. I mean I can't completely because I've never felt like I had to hide my feelings for someone, but I can imagine how hard it must be to feel completely alone.

"Okay. Sure, I get it. Well, I hope you get out soon and you're happy and healthy, and I hope you do well for yourself." I smile and get up.

"Thank you, Alice. I'll see you around." She tears up. I walk out straight away to give her privacy. When I get out into the hall, I hear her start to cry. I wish I could just fix it.

I go straight to Leo's room, I don't tell him about it, I don't think Jamie would want me to. He's still sleeping so I climb in next to him unsuccessfully trying not to wake him.

"Sorry, I just wanted hugs." I expect him to put his arm around me like he usually does but instead he cuddles into me and my arm is around him. "Are you alright?" I stroke his face.

"Yeah, I just had a bad dream."

"Tell me."

"I don't think I-"

"Leo, come on."

"Okay, uh," He sits up a little bit, "We were in your room and you weren't doing so good. I could feel your hand on mine but it was like you couldn't feel me, like you were slipping away, and then, uh, then you did slip away."

"I'm not going anywhere." I squeeze him, he sniffles.

"You better not." He holds me tight and cries a little. The last time he cried about me he was watching me being wheeled away when my kidney failed. "You know that saying? If you love someone let them go. I love you too much to let you go."

"I love you more." I pick up his chin and kiss him. "You won't ever have to let me go. I won't let that happen." I'm more determined than ever to get through this, I can't break his heart, not again.

Leo perks up after a while and we walk hand in hand to get the others and go hang out on the roof, we're supposed to banned from there but no one ever locks it. We all sit and just hangout, updating each other on our lives even though we're all there for anything big that happens in one of our lives.

"I talked to Jamie, I thought maybe we could be friends but she's not ready for that." I tell everyone.

"So she still likes you?" Jordi asks and I nod.

"Okay no offence Alice but I don't get it, I'm the hot piece around here." Kara complains.

"Some people like others for more than how they look, it's about who you are." Leo smiles at me as he says it. "I was lucky enough to get someone who's beautiful inside and out." We make out a little, receiving gag sounds from the rest of the gang.

"Did you find out if she likes guys too?" Dash asks.

"No, sorry Dash. But even if she did I don't think you should go there, she's in a weird place still and a relationship would make it complicated."

"You got into a relationship when you were in a weird place."

"Yeah but it's different."

"How is it different?"

"Leo actually liked me back." He goes silent.

"Good thing we're in a hospital cuz you just got burned." Leo says.

"I guess you got a point there. Whatever man, I still got a chance."

"She's getting out soon, I think your chance is slipping away."

Emma changes the subject and we sit and talk for a while, there really isn't that much to talk about. I start to feel a little sick so I leave Leo up there with the others and go back to my room to lie down. I was just about to drop off to sleep when I hear a croaky old ladies voice shouting out in the hall.

"Where is she? Where's my granddaughter? Adam are you here?" I look out and see an eccentrically dressed woman in her seventies. She has red hair.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I see my dad run up to her, trying to block her view from me. That's my grandma?

"Your father called, you have a kid?" His father, he told me his father died. She sounds angry.

"I don't think we should have this conversation here." She pushes past him.

"That's her isn't it?" She stands a few metres away from my door. "Oh my God, she has your eyes." She comes into my room and stares at me, I just sit in shock.

"I'm sorry Alice, I didn't know she was coming." Dad walks in after her.

"She's gorgeous Adam, why would you keep her secret?" She comes over to me and puts her hands on my face. I immediatley feel the connection, I burst into tears and wrap my arms around her. She hugs me back. "Oh honey, I got you." She pulls away to look at me again. "Adam, how could you keep her from her family? After she's going through. Are you alright?" I nod.

"I wasn't doing it on purpose, I only met her a few months ago mom."

"You told me your dad died." I say to him.

"What a horrible thing to say." She turns to him with disgust on her face.

"I only said that because I didn't want him having anything to do you." He sits next to me.

"You could have just told me, I'm not a little kid. Why don't you want me to know him?"

"He had a few problems when Adam was a child."

"He was an alcoholic mom, he still is."

"Let's not talk about him. I want to hear all about you, sweetie." She takes my hands. "I'm so sorry about your mother and everything that's happened to you, if I had you I would have taken care of you. What does she have Adam?"

"I came in because I tried to kill myself, my kidney failed then I got a new one and then I got Kaposi's Sarcoma." I say bluntly, I don't want anymore lies. She hugs me again.

"Mom, she needs rest can we talk about this outside?" Dad gets up. She nods and gets up to follow him.

"Wait," She turns around, "What do I call you?" I ask smiling.

"Call me Gram." She smiles back and leaves with dad. I lay down and watch them through the glass, I can hear them faintly.

"Why did you tell your dad and not me?"

"I didn't tell him, mom. He showed up at my house, he was wasted as per usual. He asked me why I wouldn't speak to him and I broke down okay. He said he'd seen me, he's visited the hospital, talked to a few people and found out about her. I made it clear to him that he has to stay away."

"17 years ago you had a child and you didn't come to me, why is that?"

"What would you have said mom? You wouldn't have supported her, you were off with Bryan in Hawaii, having the time of your life and you left me with dad. Is that good parenting?"

"Don't talk to me about good parenting, you left your daughter, not me."

"I was young, I didn't know any better because I didn't have a role model."

"So you're going to be her role model?" She folds her arms over her multicoloured dress.

"Yes, she has no one else. I want to look after her, she's moving in with me when she gets out of here." He walks away from her and back into my room.

"I'm sorry about all this. I should have been honest about my dad."

"But you weren't and it's over now. Don't push her away."

"Do you want her around?" He asks me in really serious tone.

"Yes. But I want you to tell me the truth from now on. No matter what it is. Please."

"Okay. I guess I should warn you, she has her opinions and if someone's aren't the same as hers she'll have a lot to say about it. And she likes to talk about herself a lot."

"Sounds like you, the opinions part. You can be stubborn."

"So can you." He kisses my head. "Get some sleep, you look tired."

"Okay dad." He smiles. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't think I've told you how much I love it when you say that, when you call me dad." He walks out. I close my eyes and fall asleep with a smile on my face. I may not have perfect health but I have a perfect dad and grandmother.


	2. Chapter 2

Gram decides she wants to take me for breakfast the next day, so I meet her downstairs.

"Morning sweetie, why are you using that thing?" She's talking about my wheelchair.

"I'm really weak, Grandma- Gram." I pull up to the table. She tells me all about dad when he was a kid, and all about her boyfriend. Then she asks about me, and my childhood. I feel like I can talk to her so I tell her all about my mom and the kids at school, she comforts me. I tell her all about Leo too, she seems really happy for me that I've got a boyfriend and I've managed to be pretty happy even though I could die. She doesn't use those words exactly.

"Let me take you shopping, get you some nice pyjamas so you don't have to wear that hideous gown all the time."

"I don't know if I'm allowed out, the last time I left the hospital it didn't go so well."

"I'm sure I can get your father to agree to it."

"It's not him I'm worried about, it's Nurse Jackson." Now that I think about it, Nurse J and Gram are probably going to butt heads.

"Oh I'm not scared of some nurse."

"You should be."

She takes me back upstairs and Nurse Jackson is at the nurses station.

"Hey." I say trying to get her stop looking at her paperwork. "This is my Gram."

"Hello Gram." She does a double take at her, then looks at me. "Uh, it's nice to meet you." I'm guessing dad didn't tell Nurse J about her. She doesn't bother asking any questions.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too." They shake hands. "I was wondering if I could take Alice shopping?"

"You understand she's under going chemotherapy right?"

"Yes, of course, but it would only be for a couple of hours or so." Nurse J sees my pleading look.

"One hour, and Alice, if you feel the slightest bit sick, get back here immediatley."

"Okay! Thanks Nurse Jackson." I hug her. "I'll just go get dressed Gram."

We meet back out in the hall, she looks at my clothes in a weird way. I guess she doesn't like my style. She takes my outside to her big fancy car, it's almost as nice as Kara's. She helps me get up into the front seat and then puts my chair in the trunk.

"You know we don't have to drive, there's a department store across the street?"

"I'm taking you to this adorable little boutique." Sounds a little girly, but I want to make her happy. She puts on the radio to some classic station. She tells me more about her life, when she was my age she fell in love with a boy too, but he turned about to be her alcoholic husband. She goes on to tell me how a lot of loves aren't forever. I think she's trying to tell me something.

"Gram, no offence but Leo's not like that."

"Not yet." Dad's right, she is opinionated. I change the subject straight away.

We pull up outside the pinkest, fluffiest store I've ever seen. She helps me into my chair again and we go inside. It's even pinker and fluffier inside. A woman in a tight pink skirt and matching jacket comes over to us.

"Hi there. How can I help?"

"Hi, my granddaughter and I are looking for a cute little night dress."

"Night dress?" I look up at her.

"Of course, right this way." The woman leads us to a rail full of girly night dresses, they're all hideous.

"Oooh, what about this one?" Gram picks out the most hideous of the bunch. It's got sequins on the waist.

"Who wears sequins to bed? Is there something a little more plain?"

"This one?" She holds up a pink top with matching shorts.

"It's just, well pink's not really my colour, is there a blue one or something?"

"We have some more mature nightwear if you'd like to take a look?" The shop assistant takes us down the back of the store. There's some very mature nightwear and lingerie. I notice some shelves with some normal looking pyjamas on them, there's a silk night shirt with cute shorts to match. It comes in black.

"What about these?"

"Well sure if you want to look like a goth." Gram folds her arms.

"I like them."

"I like these." She holds up the pink PJ's again. She can tell by my face that I hate them. "What if we get both? And, these." She picks up a pair of fuzzy pink slippers. I know it would make her happy so I agree, even though I don't see the point of wearing slippers when I'm always in bed or in a wheelchair. She takes me back to the hospital just in time.

"Hey, I haven't seen you since yesterday, where've you been?" Leo comes out into the hall. He sees Gram.

"Leo, this is my grandma, Gram, this is my boyfriend Leo."

"Uh, it's nice to meet you." He extend his hand to her but she hugs him instead.

"I've heard so much about you! You are as handsome as Alice told me, and those eyebrows, gorgeous!" Leo looks a little taken aback.

"Yeah, I just met her yesterday. Gram, why don't you go hang out with Dad, me and Leo are gonna go to my room." I take the pink bag from her.

"Alright sweetie you kids have fun!" She kisses me and hugs Leo again before walking off to fine dad. Leo and I go to my room.

"So, where did she come from?"

"Help me up, I can't do it," He lifts me into my bed, "She just showed up last night yelling for her granddaughter."

"She's uh, quite a woman." I pull the covers over me and lie down.

"She's exhausting." I close my eyes. "Can you turn the lights off please? And shut the blinds?" My head is killing me.

"Sure, do you want me to leave you to sleep?" He does it and comes back over to me.

"No," I reach out for him, "Come here." I pull him over to my left and he gets into bed next to me. He faces me and we hold hands. "Did you always get this worn out?"

"When I was in chemo? Yeah all the time. It stopped a few weeks after my last round, but then I had the surgery and I was tired and sick for a little bit after that too."

"I kinda wish I could just skip all the chemo and try surgery first."

"If they're giving you chemo instead of surgery, it's because they don't think you need surgery, so it's a good thing."

"It doesn't feel like a good thing." I sit back up. "I'll be right back." I hurry out of bed and to the bathroom and puke in the toilet.

"You want me to get a nurse?" He shouts from my room.

"No, it's okay." I clean myself up and get a glass of water. I go back out to him and get back into bed. "It's getting a little easier to deal with on my own."

"You're not on your own." I lay my head on his chest.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Yeah but I wanna stay with you." He kisses my head and I snuggle into him.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up a few hours later and I'm still laying on Leo's chest, he's on his phone.

"Hey." I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey did you sleep okay?" I nod and hug him. Gram walks in.

"Why aren't you wearing your new pyjamas Alice?" She looks really disappointed.

"I'll put them on later, I promise, I'm just really tired right now."

"Well if you're tired, now's a good time to put them on!"

"Gram, it's fine. Please, just let me rest!" I snap at her. "Sorry, I just don't feel great today." She looks so sad.

"I'll see you later then." She walks out.

"What pyjamas?" Leo asks.

"Look in the bag." He looks inside and pulls out the slippers and the pink pj's.

"Wow."

"I know." He puts them back in the back, just as disgusted by them as I am. "Leo, why don't you go and catch up on what you missed in class? I'm alright now."

"Sure." He gets out of bed and covers me back up. "Are you sure you're okay? You're shaking, and sweating."

"I'm fine, I probably just need rest, go study." He gives me a kiss and goes to his room, leaving the door ajar.

I do feel pretty sick but I don't want Leo to feel like he has to take care of me all the time. I start to shake more, I'm cold but I'm sweating a lot. I lean over and grab the nearest sick bowl and puke, then I notice blood down the front of my sheets. My nose is bleeding, that's happened a few times from chemo but I've never felt sick the way I feel right now.

"Nurse Jackson? Dad?" I try calling out but all I can do is cough. I press my call button and a few seconds later Nurse Jackson and Brittany run in. "Is this from the chemo? It's never felt like this before."

"I don't know sweetie. Sit her up Brittany." She adjusts my bed so it's at an angle and she holds tissues over my nose to stop the bleeding. "Let's clean her up and get her a scan."

They help me out of my bloody clothes and into my gown again. I can barely lift my own hand. Every time they slightly touch my skin it feels like it's bruising, and my joints are killing me. Brittany puts another needle in my hand and starts giving my painkillers, then they take me in my bed to get the scan. I have all of the tests I had before I started chemo. It makes me worry that maybe the chemo isn't working and the cancer is spreading. Dad comes and meets us when everything is done. He looks worried too. I'm still on my bed, they've taken me around the hospital in it because I can't even get into my chair.

"What happened?" He asks Nurse J.

"We're not sure, we've taken blood and got her some scans."

"I'm okay." I take his hand as they wheel me back to my room. "How long til the blood test results?"

"We can get a rush on it and get them back in an hour or two, I'm sure it's just an infection or something." They put me back in my room and my dad stays with me. "I know you don't want me to but, I really think I should take some time off for a while."

"No dad, you don't have to. I have all these nurses and my friends, and Gram. You don't have to be here 24/7."

"I want to." He pleads. "I can see what you're doing, don't push me away. You need me, and I definitley need you."

"Okay. Fine. But not too long, the other kids here need you too."

"Thank you." He hugs me. "Now, let me do something for you. You want a snack while we wait for the blood test to come back?"

"Sure, surprise me."

He brings me some pudding and eventually we get the results back. Turns out I have some kind of infection in my lung, where all the cancer is. They think I might have Pneumothorax which is a collapsed lung. So, I don't know what they're going to do about it. I don't want to ask too many questions in case they tell me something bad and then I might get all depressed again and I won't want to get better. It just seems like things are getting worse and worse that at some point something good is bound to happen. I start to feel better with the painkillers and dad goes home to get some stuff so he can spend the night here.

Leo comes into my room. "Hey how's your chest?" He asks as he rolls in in his chair.

"I have an infection, don't worry it's not contagious. My dad's gonna take time off work."

"Really? I thought you didn't want him to?" He climbs up into bed with me.

"I didn't, I don't, but it's not just about me. He wants to, so if he thinks that'll help I'm going to let him. Last thing I need is anymore conflict."

"Speaking of conflict, why aren't you wearing your adorable new pyjamas?" He mocks me, picking up the bag.

"Oh my God don't, if anyone sees me in those I'll literally die of embarrassment."

"Just put them on, get it over with." He hands me the dreaded get up.

"You just want to see me make a fool out of myself don't you?" I put them on there and then and I notice the way he looks at me, no, at my body. "What?" I pull the shorts on.

"We haven't, you know... in a while."

"And you want to now?" I laugh, but he keeps a straight face. "You actually want to be with me even when I'm this sick? And this sick looking?"

"You look hot."

"You're such a cliche." I go and sit on his lap and kiss him. "Maybe later. If you're lucky."

"Alice you're wearing them!" Gram appears in the doorway, I jump off Leo's lap. "Get over here!" She's overjoyed. I walk over and take her hands. "Oh, you look gorgeous!" She hugs me and makes me turn around. My cheeks have gone the same colour as the frilly nightmare outfit.

"You look amazing." Leo's trying not to burst out laughing. I shoot him an evil glare.

"Don't you just love them?" Gram leads me to the mirror to look at myself. She's waiting for a positive response.

"So much." I grin and bear it, just for her.

"Don't forget these." Leo brings me the slippers, he's loving this.

"Oh of course not." I put them on and I look like a fairy threw up on me.

"Okay, well thanks Gram. I better go take them off now." I try to the bag with the black pyjamas in but she pulls me back.

"Take them off? Why on earth would you do that?"

"I'm always having nosebleeds and puking and stuff, they're just gonna get ruined and you paid a lot of money for them. The black ones will last a lot longer."

"Oh don't be silly, we can wash them." I sigh.

"Alice, you look..." Dad walks in. "Different."

"Doesn't she look like a princess Adam?"

"Well yeah but-"

"But what, she looks amazing.

"She just doesn't look like her." Finally someone said it. They argue back and forth, Leo and I just watch. They don't even notice when I go in the bathroom and put the black ones on.

"If you're just gonna yell at each other then you can get out." I go and sit on my bed where Leo is.

"See, now that looks like Alice." Dad gestures to my black outfit.

"She looks like a goth!" Gram shouts at him.

"You just can't accept anyone being a little different can you?"

"Just because I didn't agree with the way you lead your life doesn't mean I'll do the same with Alice."

"You're doing it now mom! Making her dress how you want!"

"Get out!" I shout at them. They just turn to look at me.

"Now you've upset her." Gram storms out.

"Sorry Alice." He just somberly walks out closing the door behind him.

"Jesus Christ they're so annoying!" I lay back on my bed.

"They're just trying to look after you. Like family does." He lays on my stomach. "At least they're here."

"You never talk about your family. Why is that?"

"I don't know. They're great, it's just me and my parents. I guess it's just kind of hard to talk about them when I can see them everyday, it was my choice for them to stay in Bakersfield so it's my own fault that I miss them."

"Why didn't you want them here?"

"I didn't want them wasting their lives away in the hospital with me. I was going to be out of here and they would have just gotten behind on their jobs and everything."

"What do you mean was?" He sits up, facing away from me. "Leo?" I see him lift his hand to wipe away a tear. "Hey." I speak soft, scooting closer to him and taking his hand. "What do you mean was?"

"I _was_ going to get out of here, I _was_ going to finish all my PT and go home but..." He takes a deep breath, "My cancer's back."


	4. Chapter 4

"No, it's not you're fine." I make him look at me. "Tell me you're fine." He shakes his head. "Why didn't you tell me?" My voice breaks.

"I didn't want people to weird around me."

"Including me?"

"Especially you!" He yells, then h e gets quiet. "I'm so scared." I instantly pull him into my chest, letting him cry and cry. This isn't fair. Anyone but Leo, I need him. "You're going to be okay though, right?"

"Doesn't look like it." He struggles to speak, I struggle to accept. I start to cry. "I'm sorry." My heart cracks right down the middle.

"Don't be sorry you idiot." I rock him back and forth. Out of the corner of my eye I see the rest of the Red Band Society staring through the glass at us. I don't know if any of them know yet. "Look." I say to Leo. He turns around and sees them, he immediatley runs over and hugs Jordi. I go to Emma and do the same. No one speaks, we all just stand there in the hall, just acknowledging each other. I'm sure they all heard what's wrong if they didn't already know. I take Leo and Emma's hands and lead everyone into Kara and I's room. We all just sit, the others either stare at Leo or me or the ground.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I don't want to sit around being depressed. We're in a hospital, this stuff happens and we all have to live with it." Kara says, flopping back on her bed.

"She's right, let's do something." Dash stands up. "Emma, you must have an idea buzzing around in there." She stands too.

"I did have one idea, we could have prom?"

"I second that!" Kara bolts up, excited by the prospect of dressing up.

"I'm down for it." Jordi says.

"That could be fun, Leo?" I ask taking his hand.

"I'm in." He smiles. "I'm not wearing a full on tux though."

"What if was an alternative prom?" Emma says.

"Sick, where would we have it?" I ask.

"The roof, obviously." Dash says. "Let's do it Saturday." That gives me four days to find something to wear.

The others all go back to their rooms and Kara gets the hint and leaves too. Leo doesn't move. He's so scared.

"So." I sit next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"So." He puts his arm around me, then he looks at me.

"Are you going to have chemo or...?" I change the subject back to him and his cancer.

"Yeah. Dr. Grace said I have that much of chance but she said it's inoperable." He's not crying, so I won't either. I'll hold it together, just like he does for me.

"When do you start?"

"Tuesday, I'll be down there with you and Jordi." He takes a big breath. "Come on, let's do some online shopping for Saturday." He takes my hand. We walk to his room to go on his laptop. "I think we should get wigs."

"Wigs? Seriously?" I can't tell if he's joking.

"Yeah, like crazy colours. I don't wanna go to my first prom with no hair." He laughs.

"You didn't go to Junior prom? I didn't."

"Well yeah, I went but it didn't count."

"Why not?"

"Cuz I wasn't with the girl of my dreams." He kisses me, putting his laptop on the table so he can move on top of me.

"Wait," I break the kiss for a moment, "You didn't wanna do this just because you might not make it, right?

"What? No, I love you and this is one of the things that makes me feel close to you, it has nothing to do with my cancer."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He kisses me again. He reaches around to close the curtains surrounding his bed.

A little while later we lay together in Leo's bed, scrolling through the website for the department store across the street, looking for something cool to wear to the prom.

"I like that." Leo points out a really pretty red dress. It's like one of those Texas beauty queen cupcake dresses, but it's shorter and not quite as puffy, I actually really like it too. "You'd look awesome in that. You always look awesome though."

"I like it, but if you're not wearing a tux then I'll just look overdressed."

"I'll wear a tux if you want me too. I do look pretty sharp in a bow tie."

"Really?" He kisses my cheek.

"Of course."

"Okay, I'll wear it. But let me pick your tuxedo, I want us to match."

"Oh so you are a girl?" He jokes.

"I'm pretty sure I showed you I'm a girl earlier." I kiss him. "Call the store, see if they have it in stock." He dials the number and gives the reference number. They have one dress left, in my size! I find the perfect tux for Leo and he says the reference number for that too and they have plenty left.

"Thank you so much, we'll come and get them straight away." He hangs up.

We sneak out of the hospital together, Leo uses his leg so he can push me in the wheelchair. I know neither of us should really be leaving, but we'll be gone for no more than like 15 minutes. When we get into the store and go straight up to the section where all the beautiful dresses are, I feel like such a girly girl. We find the sales assistant that Leo talked to on the phone. She looks at us really weirdly, Leo's wearing shorts so his fake leg is showing and I'm in a wheelchair in my pyjamas with all my scars showing, but we don't care. She takes us to where our outfits are being kept behind the checkout desk. The dress is even prettier in real life. Leo collects his tux and then he pays for everything, including my dress.

"You don't have to Leo."

"I know I don't have to, I want to." He leans down and kisses me, the sales assistant coos over us. "We're not going to look very alternative though."

"Oh yeah, that's true."

"Alternative?" The lady says.

"Yeah we're having an alternative prom at our hospital." I say.

"So you need to look a little different?" We nod. "Follow me." She takes us around the store, picking up random things as we go along. She picks up one last thing. "Okay, if you wear these," She hands me some cool sneakers and fishnet tights, "And you wear this," She hands Leo a trilby with some steampunk goggles on top. "And you both wear these," She gives us each a red corsage with black paint splatters on them. "You'll look awesome." She looks impressed with her work.

"Thank you so much, this is awesome." Leo says.

"Wanna know the best part?" She starts to whisper. "Don't tell my boss, but it's all on the house." There must be at least fifty dollars worth of stuff here.

"Are you sure?" I'm shocked.

"Of course, now go before I change my mind." We put the stuff in the bag with our outfits and get out of the store.

"We're gonna look so awesome!" I'm so excited now, all the crappy stuff that's going on right now doesn't really matter in this moment. I look up at Leo, he's as happy as I am.


	5. Chapter 5

"Alice!" I hear my dad's voice as we get out of the elevator. "Where have you been?" He walks over to us, I slyly hand the bag to Leo making sure he doesn't see.

"We just went out for some fresh air."

"Without your phone? I gave you this for a reason." He hands me my phone.

"Sorry, I forgot it." We pass him and go into Leo's room. Everyone's in there hanging out.

"Where'd you guys go?" Jordi asks.

"Just went to pick up our prom outfits." He puts the bag away.

"You can't see yet, it's a surprise." I hop up on Leo's bed next to him.

"Oh my God!" Leo turns my head to face him. "You're nose is bleeding, are you okay?" I put my hand to my face, it's gushing out again.

"Yeah, it's just the chemo, you know how it is. I'm gonna go clean up and lie down for a while, see you guys later. Thanks for the dress Leo." I get up and go back to my room. Gram is in my room waiting for me. "Oh, hey." I go into my bathroom to clean up all the blood.

"Are you alright sweetie?" She follows me and sees all the blood. "Oh! Here, sit down, let me help." I'm too tired to argue, so I perch on the edge of the bath and let her clean me up. "Does this happen a lot?"

"Yeah."

"Listen, I'm sorry about me and your dad fighting." She takes me to my bed.

"It's okay, I get why you got angry with each other. You just want to help." She tucks me in, admittedly it is nice to have her around.

"Exactly, but I won't get like that again. You're not mad at me are you?"

"No of course not. But I really don't like those pyjamas." She laughs.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'll take them back, it's a good thing we got the black ones too."

"I'll keep the slippers though, they're actually really cosy. You'd be proud of me, I got a dress today." I tell her all about out alternative prom idea. Then I tell her about Leo. I cry to her, she comforts me.

"No matter what happens he's always going to be there for you, and you for him."

"I'm so scared that I'm gonna get bad again." I curl up and start bawling my eyes out. Gram holds my hand. I don't think she fully understands what I mean, she wasn't there through all of that stuff.

"Why don't you just try and get some rest, I'll go find your father." I grasp on to her hand, I don't want to be alone but she pulls away from me and leaves.

I stay curled up trying to catch my breath. I start to feel everything building up inside of me, I feel anger, sadness, every bad feeling. I kick the blankets off of me. I don't feel right. It all gets too much and I scream at the top of my lungs, I run to shut the door, I sit on the floor behind my bed. All these crazy thoughts are running through my head, what if I get really bad? What if I start cutting again? What if I get suicidal again? I start to think that all of these things are inevitable. I am going to get bad again, I just know it. I know Leo isn't always going to be here, my heart is breaking just thinking about it. But I can't get bad, I have a family now. Would they care if I was gone? Dad and Gram are both so stressed it would probably be easier if I wasn't around to worry about. What about Sammy? No, I can't leave him, he's just a kid. I can't. I have to be okay. But I can't stop what I'm feeling right now, what if I get so bad that I don't care whether I leave him?

I look down at my legs, I've scratched them so deep that I'm covered in blood. I scream at the sight of them, then suddenly, I want to keep going. I plunge my nails into my skin, then the door opens.

"Alice?" My dad comes around to the side of my bed and sees me. He gasps, horrified by what I've done to myself. "Come here." He takes my hand, but I yank it away.

"Don't touch me!" I bury my face in my knees. "Please."

"Alice, please." I start to freak out even more. Screaming and screaming and screaming. Everything just blurs, nurses come running in trying to help me, I kick and punch in every direction trying to keep them away from me. I just want to be left alone. They grab my arms and legs and lift me onto my bed. Kenji and Brittany hold my arms while dad has my legs. Nurse Jackson brings in an injection. She rams into my arm and almostly instantly, I go limp, crying my heart out. I hope Leo doesn't see me like this. As I start to drift off to sleep, Nurse Jackson and the others clean up all the cuts on my legs. My dad sits next to me and holds my hand.

When I wake up I feel wrong, like something's happened and it's not good.

"Where's Leo?" I still feel groggy from the sedative.

"You're up, how do you feel?" Dad says, it's still dark out.

"I want Leo." I reach over to get my phone but dad snatches it from me. "Let me talk to him!" I shout.

"Alice, you need rest." I manage to get it from him and dial Leo's number.

"Leo? Come to my room, where are you?" I slur my words.

"Alice?" Nurse J picks up the call.

"Nurse Jackson? Where's Leo I wanna talk to him." I knew something was wrong.

"Alice you need rest, it's two in the morning."

"Give me the phone Alice." Dad tries to wrestle it out of my hand.

"I'm trying to sleep!" Kara yells.

"Where is he? What's wrong?" I shout.

"He's in the ICU." I hang up straight away, I have to go and see him. Dad takes the phone and tries to stop me from leaving. I'm still so dizzy, everything's spinning.

"Alice you need to calm down." He pins me back on my bed and I starting kicking again. Kara gets up to try and help.

"Come on Alice, just go to sleep you can see him in the morning." I kick and kick and my dad shouts for Britt and Kenji, they come in with another needle.

"No please!" I start to cry. "Just let me see him." Kenji sticks the needle in my arm and once again, I pass out. It feels like just a blink when I open my eyes. The sun's out.

"Alice, you have to stay calm okay."

"Okay." I'm still hazy even now. "When can I see Leo?"

"Soon, he's back in his room now."

"What happened?"

"He had a seizure, it was a close call but he's doing a lot better now."

"How long was he down there for?"

"A couple days, do you remember much?"

"No, I guess I've been pretty out of it, I thought only one night had passed."

"Yeah you've had a rough time, but you're gonna be alright now." I try to believe him but I'm just so messed up inside, every time I relapse it gets worse and worse.

"Wait," I look around me, I'm not in my room, this room is a lot smaller and there's only one bed in here, "Where am I?"

"Oh, you got a single after what you did to Kara, her mom-"

"What did I do to Kara?" I panic a little.

"You don't remember?" I shake my head. "You uh, you kicked her, by accident, in the chest."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

"She's fine, she's pretty much healed from her surgery, but her mom demanded for her to get a single, but on the bright side, you got a single too."

"I have to apologise."

"And you can, later. I don't want you pushing yourself too much, this is why you keep having these funny turns. You're not letting yourself recover." I hate to admit it but he's right. I'm exhausted 24/7, it was only a matter of time before I had another episode. "How do you feel? Honestly? Like, are you feeling depressed again?"

"No, not depressed."

"So why did you do that to your legs?"

"It was more of a sadness thing, when I get depressed I feel empty inside but I was just so upset."

"Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want more appointments with Dr. Williams?"

"No I'm okay, I just want to talk to Leo." He looks sad, he's probably feeling pretty bad that I'd rather talk to Leo than him. "Where's Gram?"

"She's back at her hotel, she was a little shaken after she saw the state of your legs. She only wants to help you but she doesn't really know how."

"Oh, right." I decide to change the subject. "What are you wearing?" He's got on a plaid shirt and blue jeans, I've never seen him look so casual.

"Oh, yeah I don't have to wear work clothes now that I'm taking time off. What? Do I look dumb?"

"No, it's just weird seeing you in like, human clothes." We laugh, and I feel okay. "What's this?" I realise there's a blanket on me, one I've never seen before. It's blue, like one of the beanie's Leo gave me.

"Jamie brought it in for you, she made it." He sets my bed to a sitting position.

"Oh, wow."

"What? You don't like Jamie?"

"No, I do, I just thought she didn't want anything to do with me anymore." I stroke the soft blanket on my cheek.

"Why?"

"Well, we had a kind of argument, she didn't want to be friends."

"I thought you two were getting on really well."

"We were, she um, she had a crush on me I guess, and I said I still wanted to be friends but she said she wasn't ready."

"I'm ready now." Jamie stands in the door way, she looks really well.

"I'll let you guys talk." Dad leaves the room, Jamie takes his place in the chair.

"I'm over it now. Over you. I want to friends."

"Oh, that's awesome. Thanks for the blanket, you really made this?"

"Yeah, I love sewing and knitting and all that crafty stuff." She looks embarrassed.

"It's awesome, I wish I had a talent like that." She smiles. She really looks happy.

"I'm getting out of here soon."

"Really?"

"Well kinda, I'm being moved to like a group foster home or something, kind of like a halfway house. My emancipation got approved so I'm going there until I get a job sorted out and then I'm getting my own place."

"That's amazing, I'm so happy for you." I can't help but be a little bit jealous. "So when are you going?"

"The day after tomorrow, I have one last appointment with Dr. Williams and when I leave I'll be seeing a counsellor until I feel like I'm ready to be on my own."

"You've come so far, you're gonna do great out there."

"Thanks Alice, well I better go I have some paper work to do, wow I already sound like an adult." She laughs at herself. "See you." She leaves. A few moments later dad comes back in.

"So goood news," he sits back down, "You can have surgery to fix your lung after your last chemo session which is tomorrow." I've had to have an oxygen tank with me since my lung collapsed, so getting the surgery really is good news.

"Seriously? That's great." I remember that Leo has a collapsed lung too. "Is Leo getting the surgery too?" His face goes from happy to sad in an instant.

"Uh, no he's not."

"Why? He has Pneumothorax too, why would you just leave it all broken?"

"Alice, you know it's not looking good for him. He's decided not to have it, he doesn't want to waste anytime or resources."

"Oh, right." I understand but I wish it wasn't true. I want to be with him forever. "Wait, what day is it?"

"Friday."

"The prom's tomorrow, are me and Leo gonna be able to go?"

"Prom?"

"We're having a prom because we're all so goddamn depressed. We bought our outfits and everything."

"I don't know Alice, you're both pretty sick, and Jordi's chemo's been hitting him hard this week."

"Come on, we'll all stay in our chairs, you can even come! Please dad, we all really need this!"

"Fine, only a few hours and if I say you need to go back to bed, you go, okay?"

"Yes! Thank you." I hug him, it hurts a little, and I start to cough. "I'll be fine, I swear." I look over by the door and see my chair. "Can you take me to Leo's room?" He looks skeptical. "Please dad."

"Fine." He sighs and brings the chair over, helping me into it and attaching my oxygen tank and my IV bag. I must look really sick right now. I'm excited and nervous to see Leo, what if he's really sick? When we get to the Swamp,the blinds are shut and all the lights are off, except for two lamps next to Jordi and Leo's beds.

"Hey Alice, how are you?" Jordi see's me, he looks pretty sick too. His hair is thinning out.

"Hey, I'm okay, what about you? I heard chemo's kicking your butt?"

"I'm a lot better today, thanks. Leo's asleep, but I'm sure he'll want you to wake him."

"Thanks, Dad," I look up to him, "I can take it from here, wait outside?"

"Sure sweetie." He wheels me over to Leo's bed and leaves me alone with him. I take his hand, he looks so peaceful.

"Hey," I whisper, "I'm here Leo." He opens his eyes slowly. I kiss his hand.

"Hey." His voice is croaky. "I missed you." He takes my other hand.

"I missed you too. Dad told me you had a fit, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little tired. Why haven't you come to see me? No one will let me leave my bed." No one told him what I did.

"Uh, I just hit a little bump in the road, I'm okay now. Surgery in a few days."

"For your lung? You'll be okay." He can barely keep his eyes open.

"I think I should let you rest, if we're gonna make it to Prom tomorrow."

"No, don't go." He closes his eyes. "Just sit with me for a minute."

"Okay." I lean against his bed so I'm face to face with him. I love looking at him, just like this, just in silence. I feel like in these moments I really appreciate having him in my life, I just can't shake the fact that I won't always have him.


	6. Chapter 6

Once Leo is asleep, I take my prom dress and accesories and leave him alone, heading back to my room with dad. He helps me into my bed.

"Dad," I pull him over to sit on my bed, "I need to ask you a question, and I need you to answer with complete honesty."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Promise, promise you'll tell me the truth." I watch him take a second to think.

"I promise."

"Do you know how long he has?" I look him straight in the eyes. He looks like he's trying to answer but it just won't come out, like he's figuring out exactly what to say. "Dad."

"I don't know for sure, but it's not long."

"6 Months?" He shakes his head, my eyes well up. "Less than that?" He slowly nods.

"I'm sorry sweetie, 1 month, 6 weeks tops." He hugs me. I allow myself to cry.

"Does he know?"

"No, Dr. Grace is waiting for his parents to get here. Should be some time today." I nod. Of all the people in the world, Leo is the least deserving of this. At least in my opinion.

I spend the day feeling so weak and unwell. I can't keep anything down and I keep having nosebleeds. Dad sits with me all day, apart from when Brittany comes in to read her book to me. I have no idea what she's staying because all I can think about is Leo, and his parents. They're probably here by now. After a chapter of Brittany droning on and on. She leaves me alone to sleep.

As per usual, I dream about Leo and I. This time, we're all grown up, both with full heads of hair. We live in a beautiful house, with a toddler. Leo comes home wearing a suit. He's managing his favourite soccer team, and I'm a social worker. Our 3 year old girl is called Samantha, after my little brother. He visits us for Christmas with his wife and twin boys. Everything looks like its worked out. Then a black cloud floats over the whole scene. sucking everything away until it's just me, alone in the dark. I wake up with tears in my eyes and Leo's warm hand in mine.

"What's wrong?" He asks, wiping away a tear.

"I just had a weird dream, it doesn't matter. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I look behind him and see his parents in the doorway, holding hands and watching us, I recognise them from the pictures Leo's shown me, "Uh, those are my parents." My eyes well up again. "So I'm guessing your dad told you?" I nod. "It's gonna be okay."

"Can I meet them?" I sit up, adjusting my beanie in an attempt to look okay.

"Sure. Mom, dad," He gestures for them to come in, "This is Alice."

"It's so nice to meet you." His dad says.

"We've heard so much about you." His mom shakes my sweaty hand. "How are you feeling?" She sits on the edge of my bed.

"I'm okay, pretty tired. It's really great to finally meet you guys. I don't always look this gross, it's just the cancer... and the chemo."

"Oh hush, you're beautiful sweetie." Mrs. Roth puts her hand on mine and smiles. Leo has her eyes, and he's got his dad's bushy eyebrows, though they may have gone quite grey now.

"Now, we want to take you guys to dinner, but we know you're both not allowed to leave, so we're going to order in, that sound good?" Mr. Roth grabs Leo by the shoulders.

"Yeah that sounds great!" I smile.

"Thanks dad." Leo looks really happy, considering the circumstances.

"Awesome, we'll eat in here. Will your dad be back soon?" he asks me.

"Yeah he's just talking to Dr. Grace about my surgery, oh," I see him through the glass, "Here he is."

"Hi, Mr and Mrs Roth, it's great to see you again." He hugs them both and they greet him back. "Alice, how do you feel?"

"Uh, yeah better than earlier. We're ordering take out, are you sticking around?" He comes and sits next to me.

"Of course I am."

We all sit in my room, using my bed as a table for the mountains of chinese food we ordered. Mr and Mrs Roth tell me all these funny stories about Leo when he was a kid. I think my dad feels bad that he doesn't have any stories, or even any memories from when I was little. It makes me kinda sad too. But still it's nice hearing about a normal family life, normal up until Leo got diagnosed with Osteosarcoma. They start to ask me about my life, they already know all the main stuff, Leo must have told them, but I don't feel uncomfortable going into detail with them. They seem trustworthy and supportive, like real parents. I tell them all the good parts of my childhood too. Like when mom left us $100 from one of her ex-boyfriends while she went on vacation, and we just bought junk food and watched movies. Saying it outloud, it doesn't really sound like a good memory anymore. I decide to change the subject and we all start talking about the Prom tomorrow, they're going to come too. But dad says we can't have it on the roof, mostly because of the wheelchairs, so we're having it in the cafeteria instead.

Leo's parents go back to their motel and I tell dad to go home for the night, I just want to spend some time with Leo before his parents start following him like a shadow in his last few weeks. I also want to ask him something, he climbs in my bed next to me.

"So, are you going to go home? You know, for the last few weeks?"

"No, my parents wanted me to, but I can't be apart from you, and all the others. They're staying in the motel and I'm staying in my room with Jordi."

"I just wish we had a double bed here, so we could fall asleep and wake up next to each other everyday." I lace my fingers through his.

"Well, you know they have that accommodation upstairs, for friends and family?"

"The really overpriced rooms? Yeah."

"Well, since I won't be needing my college fund, I convinced my parents to let me use it for a room for us. Just for one night, tomorrow. After prom."

"Seriously? They're okay with that?" He nods. "Thank you," I kiss him, "You're amazing."

We fall asleep in each others arms, I can only hope that every night is like this. I wake him by kissing him on the nose, sometimes he does that to me too.

"Um, I have a favour to ask, can you take me to Kara's room? I need to apologize."

"Sure, come on." He sleepily rubs his eyes and helps me into my chair, he gets onto his crutches. When we get to her room, she's laid back on her bed reading a magazine.

"What do you want?" She doesn't even look at me.

"I'll let you guys talk." Leo leaves us. I go right up to her bed.

"Kara, I-"

"I don't want to talk to you." She flicks through the pages.

"Please, listen for a second. I'm so sorry I hurt you. You know I would never do that if I was myself, I wasn't myself that night. I was all over the place."

"I don't care."

"Come on Kara, we were becoming really good friends. And that's hard to find in this place."

"I don't need friends. I'm fine. Get out."

"No. I'm not leaving until you forgive me, and admit that friends are important. I'm living proof of it, if I didn't have the Red Band Society, even you, I wouldn't still be here." She looks up at me. I smile. "I'm really sorry."

"Fine, I forgive you. But this doesn't make us besties. I just don't want Prom tonight to be awful." I make her hug me and roll back to my room. Tonight is going to be perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

After chemo Leo and the boys all go to hang out in the Swamp with Leo's parents while Kara, Emma and I all get ready for Prom together in Kara's room. Since I moved out, she's used the extra space for more clothes and makeup. I don't get why she needs so many cosmetics, she's already pretty and has perfect skin, why does she need a million different foundations?

"Are you going to wear any?" Kara asks as I look over her mountains of makeup bags. "You can use any of it."

"Thanks, but... I don't really know how to use any of it. All I've ever worn is the basic stuff, I've never even owned eye shadow."

"Seriously? Okay, sit down, I'll do it for you."

"You don't have-"

"Shut up and sit down baldie." I do as she says and I sit facing the light, she doesn't do too much to my face, just some foundation and blush, but I can feel her putting on loads of eye shadow. Emma finishes getting ready pretty early and finds herself absentmindedly watching us. She's wearing a khaki jumpsuit with a silver belt and matching platform shoes, she looks like she's from the 80's. I won't lie, it's actually pretty relaxing having my make up done. I still have a few lashes left so Kara gives me a little mascara and then she's done. "Here, take a look." She hands me her mirror.

"Oh my God." I can't help but laugh a little, I look so different but at the same time I look like me. "Thank you so much, Kara!" I hug her.

"Okay, you know how I feel about hugs." She pushes me off. I return to looking at myself.

"You look awesome, those colours are so you." Emma says. I have really pretty shimmery brown colours on my eyes and a little flick of black eyeliner, my skin doesn't look so pale and I just look way healthier than I actually am. Now I get to decide which one of Leo's old beanies to wear.

"Black or red?" I ask the girls holding the hats out in front of me. Of course they both have different opinions so I decide to go for the black one. Kara's ready now too, she's wearing a floor length gown, covered in gold sequins, it's tight and then flares out at the bottom. Her hair is styled in a very Hollywood way and she's got berry red lipstick on. She looks very... Kara. All that's left to do is get dressed. I go back to my room and quickly change into my red dress, fishnet tights and red converse. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way back to Kara's room, I can't help but stop and stare for a second. I look pretty, and I look happy.

Britt and Kenji come in and start 'oohing and aahing' over us, they insist on having us pose for a million photos, which I'm not too mad about, someday we won't all still be here, so it will be nice to have something to reminisce over. Dad pokes his head around the door and he is immediatley struck speechless when he sees me.

"I- Alice, you-"

"What? Do you hate it?" He comes in.

"No, no, you look incredible. You're so grown up!" I suddenly get a little sheepish.

"Oh my God dad, stop." I laugh it off. "I need to ask you something," I pull him to one side.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, great actually. It's just, the thing is, well, Leo's booked a room for us at a hotel down the street. It's not going to be anything, you know, it's just so we can have a few hours alone, like really alone."

"Okay, Alice, I'm fine with the fact that you and Leo are having sex-"

"Dad don't, oh my God." I blush.

"But I just want you to be safe."

"Yeah dad, we are. I don't need to have this conversation with you, I'm like literally dying. And that's not what tonight is for. We just want as much time together as possible."

"I understand that, but I just don't think it's a good idea for you to leave the hospital."

"I'm fine, I've had my last round of chemo and I'm doing really well. I just know the next few weeks will be really hard because of my surgery and Leo's going to be getting worse. I just want one night where we can both just be normal. Please dad."

"You always find a way to wear me down." I smile from ear to ear. "But if something goes wrong call me, you know I won't be sleeping a wink tonight."

"Yay! Thank you dad! I love you." I hug him.

"Come on girls," Nurse Jackson joins us, "The boys are waiting." We follow her out into the hall, I have to take a deep breath, I don't know why I'm nervous. I don't think it's nervous, I think maybe it's just joy. Leo, Jordi and Dash all look amazing. Dash is wearing one of those classic tuxedo t-shirts and some baggy jeans, and of course his 'fancy' sneakers. Jordi's wearing a hilarious yet dashing Mariachi suit and a sombrero, I don't think it can get more alternative than that. I walk straight over to Leo, I go to kiss him but he stops me.

"First of all," He pulls out my paint-splattered corsage and slides it on to my wrist, "Perfect. You look beautiful." He kisses me.

"You look even more beautiful." He tips his hat to me.

"Alice," Dad interrupts our moment, I turn to face him and he's standing there with Leo and I's wheelchairs, "You promised." Leo and I roll our eyes and reluctantly get into our chairs. Leo's parents join us, they've dressed up a little too. Even dad is wearing a shirt and tie again. We all go down to the cafeteria and it looks completely different, all the tables and chairs have been pushed to the side and the counter has been turned into a buffet table. There's gold streamer curtains around the entire room, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and a balloon arch over our exit. Every single one of us is shocked. Emma told us she was going to decorate a little, but this is insane.

"Emma this is amazing, how did you do all this?" Jordi asks.

"I didn't, I- I just put up some fairy lights and baked cupcakes." She's just as shocked as the rest of us.

"Surprise!" Leo's mom says, we all turn to look at her.

"You did this? No wonder I've barely seen you today," Leo says, "This is so sick mom, thank you!" We all thank her and I can tell it makes her feel really good, she gets a little teary eyed.

The night is incredible, Leo teaches me his little wheelchair dance moves and Dash tries to get Kara to do the robot. Jordi and Emma are at the stereo adding more songs to the playlist. Dad dances with Nurse Jackson, I've never seen her look like she's having so much fun, Britt and Kenji booty pop to Beyonce while Leo's parents try and pretend like they know all this modern music. Suddenly one of my favourite songs comes on, Leo loves it too. We instantly look at each other as soon as we hear the first line.

"I got your picture I'm coming with you dear Maria count me in..." We both belt it out. We can't help but head bang along to the beat, everyone kind of looks at us weirdly but it's also pretty awesome that no one around us into it, it's just our thing. By the end we're both breathless and can't stop laughing, it's so beautiful being this happy. The music changes back to generic stuff and we go get a drink in the corner.

"I'm not leaving this prom until I get a slow dance." He says.

"Oh wow you're such a cliche," He gives me an 'oh really?' look, "But me too. A real slow dance, not a lame wheelchair attempt." I get out of my chair, making sure not too look at dad, and go over to the stereo to put on a slow song, I choose Make You Feel My Love by Adele. I turn around to Leo and he gets out of his chair too and comes and joins me. He puts his arms on my hips and I wrap my arms around his neck. It's only then that I realise I have no idea how to slow dance, so we pretty much just sway. I notice Jordi and Emma start to dance, then Kara and Dash, and pretty soon all the staff and parents are doing it too. Dad's dancing with Kenji and Nurse J and Britt are giggling at themselves. It's all friendly but it's still really cute. I rest my head on Leo's shoulder and he kisses my cheek. When the song ends we all applaud and cheer.

"Okay I think I know the perfect song to end the night." Leo's dad starts looking through Spotify. The speakers start blasting the Macarena and immediatley we all start dancing in unison. Dad doesn't even care that I'm not in my chair, I think he's just glad I'm having fun. We take a few pictures and Kara makes me get Instagram so she can tag me in her pictures or something.

"I thought you were like, embarrassed of us, why do you want us on your Instagram?" Leo asks her.

"I could say it's because I don't care what those people think of me, which I don't but I do care what you guys think of me so I'm going to say it's because I want my followers to see I do charity work with sick teenagers." She says snobbishly, but I can tell she just wants to prove that we are all real friends. It was an amazing night and I feel really lucky to have these friends around me.

Dad drives Leo and I down the street to the hotel that Leo has booked, he walks us all the way up to our room and lingers around for a while. It gets kind of annoying but I know it's just because he cares about me. Eventually we get him to leave and we climb into the gigantic bed made with crisp white sheets. We lay side by side holding hands, my head on his shoulder and his arm under my waist. Sometimes I wonder how it's possible that our bodies fit together so perfectly.


	8. Chapter 8

Of course Leo and I do... some stuff, but mostly we spend the night talking. I tell him about the dreams I have about us, but not where it all goes wrong. Just the good stuff. We order room service at 3AM, we get a giant pizza to share and loads of other junk food. We're both too happy and hyper to sleep afterwards, we watch dumb movies which are way too expensive and drink all the soda from the mini bar. We basically just pretend we're rich for the night, I do kind of feel bad for letting Leo spend all this money on me, but he insists that it's what he wants.

Leo's mom picks us up in the morning and we're exhausted, we didn't sleep at all because we we were messing around all night, making forts out of the sheets and stuff. I almost fall asleep in her car but we get to the hospital before I do. Our dad's are waiting for us at the front of the lobby to take us back to our rooms. I hate that we can't just climb back into a double bed again. The point of the hotel was for us to fall asleep and wake up together but we literally didn't get a wink.

The week goes by pretty fast, I spend a lot of time with Leo but I make sure to give him plenty of time with his parents. When I'm not with him I'm with Kara and Emma, we've all gotten a lot closer since prom. They keep trying to get me to tell them all of the dirty details about me and Leo. I tell them some stuff, but I'm not one for talking about this kind of stuff, Kara on the other hand doesn't hold back, she reveals every little sexual thing she's ever done, which is a lot. Emma hasn't done anything, after all Leo was her only boyfriend. Kara continues talking about all of her pursuits.

"Who was the best?" Emma asks.

"I don't know, I never got to try Hunter, there was one guy I met in a bar once that was pretty good and Leo was- oh crap."

"What?" I'm confused, she can't mean she slept with Leo, can she?

"I'm sorry, I wasn't meant to say anything. I should go." She gets up and walks quickly out of my room.

"Did you know about this?" I don't know what to feel. Why would Leo keep that from me? "Emma, is it true? Did Kara and Leo have sex?"

"I- yeah. It's true. I'm sorry. But it was before you even got here!"

"That's not the point, if you knew how could you lie to me? I though we were friends!" I get up and back away, feeling decieved.

"We are, Alice I'm-"

"Get out." I turn away from her.

"Alice-"

"Get out!" I pull her off of my bed and shove her out of the door, slamming it behind me.

I don't know whether to feel mad at Leo. I love him, I love him so much. But he lied to me, I thought he'd never do that. I can't be mad at him. He's dying. I just don't know what I'm going to do.

"What is going on?" Nurse Jackson storms into my room with angry look on her face.

"Everyone's been lying to me, I bet the boys knew too!" I yell.

"Calm down, get back into bed." She makes me sit down. "What is this all about?"

"Leo, he slept with her. He slept with Kara. It was before we met but everyone kept it from me. He told me he was completely honest about everyone he's had sex with. But he lied, he didn't tell me about her. Of all the girls, her. I just don't know what to do."

"Oh Alice, I'm sorry. Can't be easy." She puts her arm around me. "Try to put yourself in his shoes, he obviously didn't want to hurt you."

"You know what, it doesn't even matter that it was her. What matters is that everyone knew, and they let me make a fool of myself by falling in love with a liar. God listen to me, I sound like a whiny little bitch."

"Hey, none of that. You didn't make a fool of yourself, okay? Falling in love with Leo wasn't a mistake." I look at her, she's dead serious. "Everyone in this place can see that the two of you were meant to be."

"What do I do?"

"You know that life's too short. Go talk to Leo, give him a chance to apologize, and you forgive him. I can tell you'll regret it if you don't." She leaves it there and goes. She's right. I feel really lucky to have Nurse J in my life, she's the most motherly figure I've had in my life. I get into my chair and take myself down the hall to Leo's room. I'm still mad, but I remember what she said, give him a chance.

"Leo," I knock, he's alone with his parents, "Can I talk to you alone for a second?" I don't let him answer, I just go back to my room and wait for him to follow. It's only a matter of moments before he's limping in. I get out of my chair and close the door behind him.

"Is everything okay?" He's doing that thing where he laughs a little because he's nervous.

"Just do me a favour and be honest with me, why didn't you tell me you slept with Kara?" I can see him become uncomfortable, he's never been uncomfortable with me before.

"How did you find out?" He sits down, he can barely look at me. I can practically feel my heart break.

"Kara let it slip. Everyone else knew didn't they?" He nods. "Why did you keep it from me? If you had just told me, yeah I would have been shocked at first but I would have gotten over it. Why did you lie? Were you trying to protect me?"

"No that's not it." It's not?

"So, what? You have feelings for her?"

"No, God no. The complete opposite."

"Leo just tell me, don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, you're my whole world!"

"Then tell me! Stop beating around the bush!" I get closer to him, yelling in his face. I hate the person I am right now.

"I'm ashamed!" He snaps back. "I'm ashamed okay, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think low of me." He starts to cry. I hate myself even more, suddenly I've become the one hurting him, instead of the other way around. I sit down next to him, take his hands from his face and make him look at me.

"Nothing could change how highly I think of you. I'm sorry for yelling. You have to know that you can tell me anything." I squeeze his hands.

"I'm sorry too, you're right I should have told you. And I shouldn't have made the others keep it from you. They didn't want to, don't blame them."

"I won't. I love you."

"I love you more."

"Not possible." I kiss him.

The next day dad seems kind of down, I tell him about the fight with Leo but he doesn't have much to say, he just sits next to my bed as I start to drift off to sleep. I want to ask what's wrong but I'm so tired I can't even keep my eyes open. It doesn't feel like long until I'm being gently shaken awake.

"Alice?" I open my eyes too see Dr. Grace sitting where my dad was a minute ago.

"Dr. Grace? Is everything okay?"

"Where's you dad?"

"Um, I don't know, he said something earlier about getting me some lunch and some more pyjamas. What's wrong?" I rub my eyes.

"Nothing, I just need to talk to him, sorry for waking you. You go back to sleep." Well I can't sleep now, she's made me nervous.

I still need to make amends with Emma, but when I went by her room last night she wasn't there. So I go look for her again, she's in her room with Jordi.

"Emma?"

"Alice, I'm so sorry for not telling you." I'm relieved, I thought she'd be mad at me.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"What are you guys talking about?" Jordi laughs at us.

"Can we just forget it ever happened?" I ask.

"Of course, I swear I won't lie again." Emma hugs me. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I never realised how important my friendship with Emma was until I lost her. The same goes for everyone, these friends mean everything to me. Maybe with the exception of Kara. She was the one who could have helped Leo realise he could tell me the truth but she didn't.

"You look pale Alice," Jordi tells me, "Come on, let me take you back to your room." He gets up and takes my arm. I've been ignoring how sick I feel all week, I just don't want anything to get in the way of me and Leo right now.

"Thanks."

"So what was all that about? Emma's not usually a liar."

"You don't know?" I thought for sure Leo would have told Jordi. "Before I got here, Leo slept with Kara."

"You're kidding?" I shake my head.

"But it's all fine now, me and Leo worked it out and I get why Emma didn't tell me either."

Jordi leaves me to get back into bed, he's such a good friend. He tells Britt to keep an eye on me, so she ends up sitting in my room reading to me again. I actually listen to her, she's reading a new book about a little girl that grows up and meets her childhood best friend and they fall in love. It's really sweet actually. She keeps stopping after a few lines to fill me in on the bits I've missed and to tell me why the characters are perfect for each other. I end up falling asleep again, but once again I'm shaken away by Dr. Grace. She's with dad this time.

"Alice, we need to talk." She says. I look over to dad, he looks even sadder than he did earlier.


	9. Chapter 9

My chest tightens up, my hands tremble and all the blood in my body runs to my face.

"How is that possible? Last time I had the scans and tests nothing had changed, now it's only a week later and it's spread, what the hell?" I look at the pictures from my last scan.

"It's possible that you reached a plateau, almost as if you became immune to the treatment, but there are still things we can do." Dr. Grace says.

"Did you know about this earlier dad?" I sit up.

"Yeah, I got hold of the results this morning. I was supposed to wait but I just needed to see them, to make sure you were okay."

"And I'm not."

"But you will be, listen to me," He takes my face in his hands, "You can fight this thing, you're stronger. I won't let you die."

"Dad, you can't promise that." I lightly push him away. "So what are we gonna do?" I ask Dr. Grace.

"We're going to take you into the surgery now rather than tomorrow, to replace your lung and while I'm in there I'm going to cut out as much of the cancer as I can, then we're going to try a few more chemo sessions."

"What's the point of more chemo? You said yourself you had me on the highest dosage, why would it work now?"

"It's all we have, Alice." Dad says.

"It's not all we have actually, there's a trial drug."

"She'll take it."

"Dad," I shoot evils at him, "Has anyone else tried it? Does it work?"

"There's a boy in San Diego who was told he had only a few days left, he started taking the Cloriopam and it's been 5 months since."

"Why are we even questioning this Alice?" Dad yells at me, but I just ignore him.

"Is he still sick? Does he get to live at home like a normal kid?" I can she doesn't want to answer, but she does.

"No, he's still in hospital, but the point is he's alive."

"I don't know if I want to take it just to live an unhealthy awful life, even if it kept me alive forever."

"That's understandable."

"Alice, you are taking that trial drug."

"It's not your decision."

"I'll let you talk about it." Dr. Grace leaves.

"Why wouldn't you take it? Do you want to die? Is that what this is?"

"No dad, of course I want to live, but living like that for rest of my life... I might as well be dead. Please don't make me take it."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know, but it would tear you apart forever to see me so unhappy and sick all the time."

"Can you at least think about it?" He begs me.

"Fine." I get out of bed.

"Where are you going now?"

"I'm going to tell Leo." As I walk away I can hear him telling me to get into my chair, but I ignore him and walk to Leo's room. He's alone in there.

"Hey, I came to see you earlier but you were asleep." I climb into bed next to him.

"Where are your parents?" I ask.

"I made them go out and have night for themselves, they've been babying me a bit too much lately. What's wrong?" I explain everything to him, tell him my fears of dying. He finds a way to comfort me, without saying he knows I won't die, because he knows it's possible to predict cancer. That's what I think my dad doesn't get, which is weird because he's a doctor. I guess it's different when it's your own kid.

"I'm going to surgery in a second, will you be there when I wake up?"

"Of course." He kisses me and walks me back to my room, dad's waiting with the nurses. They have me get onto a gurney. Leo walks to the anaesthetist with us, but he's not allowed in when they start pumping the sedative into me. I fall asleep pretty quickly and calmly, I'm not nervous. I've been unconscious and under the knife so many times now.

I open my eyes and find myself in the place I first met Charlie, well sort of met him. We were both in comas. It feels kind of empty, and lonely. But I notice something on the ground, I get closer and see it's the stack of board games, the ones that Charlie brought. There's a blue envelope on top of them, I open it up to find a small handwritten note. 'Never give up' is written in dark blue pen, it's marked with a small wonky 'C' in the bottom corner. Charlie's not even here anymore but somehow he's still... here.

When I open my eyes, I have a smile on my face, I'm not really sure why. It's quickly taken away by the searing pain in my chest, I realise I'm in the ICU.

"Dad?" I call for him, someone takes my hand. I'm too weak to even look to see who it is.

"It's Leo, I'm right here."

"I love you."

"I love you too, beautiful. Do you need anything?"

"Why am I in here?" I feel around for the button that'll adjust my beds position. I sit myself up. My chest feels so heavy.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure, I think you were losing a lot of blood, do you feel okay?"

"Yeah, it just hurts a little. But I think my breathing is better, so that's good. Where's my dad?"

"He's outside talking to Dr. Grace. Want me to get them?"

"No it's fine, what time is it?"

"Like 6 PM, I'm gonna go get them, you don't look so great."

"You literally just called me beautiful." He's already outside and moments later walking back in with them behind him. Dad still looks really upset, and kind of angry. Maybe they were fighting.

"Leo, why don't you go back up to your room." Dr. Grace says.

"No, anything you want to say to me, you can say to both of us." I squeeze Leo's hand and he squeezes back, it's like our own language.

"Well, I didn't manage to replace your lung, I could have, but if I'm being completely honest there wouldn't have been much point, so I repaired it to the best of my ability. It seems the cancer has spread a lot more than the scan showed."

"Okay, so... I'm not going to make it?" I keep a sturdy voice, for dad.

"No, I'm sorry Alice." I'll leave you guys alone to talk.

"But you can take the Cloriopam, that might keep you going." Dad comes to my other side and takes my free hand.

"Dad, please, I'm begging you, don't make me take it." He stares at me with a longing look, but all I can do is stare back with my own. I don't want to live a life where I have to be cared for and in and out of hospital 24/7 until I die. I'd rather just get it over with. Dad bursts into tears, falling into my arms. "I'm sorry."

"I just love you so much!" He whimpers. I feel awful for breaking his heart like this. But I know I would be taking his life away if I kept living, I'd be so sick.

Leo doesn't say anything, I think deep down he knew this would happen. I look to him over my dads shoulder, he does look sad, but he looks more scared than anything. I suddenly realise that we don't know who's going first.


	10. Chapter 10

So it's definite now, I'm going to die. I feel like I made piece with it, back when I first got diagnosed with cancer and I thought I was going to die, I spent the whole time being depressed, so I feel like I'm not really going to be that place again. I just want to make the most of the time I have left.

After my surgery dad started acting really strange, I was just expecting him to be sad all the time but he's been weirdly happy. He's been buying me loads of stuff I don't even need, I have like 6 teddy bears now. I think it's just his way of coping.

Dr. Grace said she can't say for sure how long I have, so Leo and I have been writing a list of things we want to do before we die, it's actually been really fun, though we don't get to do it a lot because our parents are always around, and the red banders have been hanging out with us a lot too, obviously we love them and want to spend time with them but we don't know how long is left, it's just really difficult making time for everyone.

"The beach?" Leo asks looking over at my list.

"Yeah I've never been, I mean I have but I've never had like a real beach day, where you make sand castles and go swimming and play volley ball."

"All I ever did when I went to the beach is play soccer, so I guess I'm the same." I see him write it down on his list.

Dad comes in with yet another stuffed animal and sits it next to the rest of them.

"I have good news!" He says. "You brother is coming tomorrow!" I don't really know how to react.

"What? You don't want to see him?" Leo asks, confused.

"No, I do, of course I do, but I know I'm going to be getting really sick, and I don't want him to see me like that, so I guess it might be the last time I see him."

"Alice, I don't know if you've noticed," Dad sits down opposite us at the table in the school room, "You're already really sick." He's right, I look like crap, I'm throwing up most of the time and I'm restricted to my wheelchair because I'm too weak to walk. "It won't change anything, he'll still love you."

"I know that, but I don't want to scare him, or make him sad."

"Well, how about we take him to the beach?" Leo says.

"The beach? Where's this coming from?" Dad folds his arms.

"Uh, Leo and I are making bucket lists and we both really want to spend a day on the beach. Can we go tomorrow? Everyone can come."

"I don't know-"

"Dad, the beach is going to make me die faster." Leo nudges me in the ribs for being so insensitive. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that, but please can we go. I think everyone could do with some cheering up."

"Alright fine, I'll clear it with Sam's dad and Nurse Jackson, you two tell the others."

Leo and I roll down the hall to the Swamp where everyone is hanging out. I still haven't spoken to Kara since I found out about her and Leo, so it is a little awkward, but she's Leo's friend so I don't want to exclude her or anything. We tell them all about our plan tomorrow, Jordi says he's not sure if he'd be allowed but he's going to try. Kara tries to talk to me, as if nothing's happened, asking me what she should bring, I ignore her and roll away with Leo. His parents are in my room, Leo's been sleeping in there with me, we got our dads to move his bed into my room and push the two beds together so we could wake up next to each other, no one had much to say because, well because we're dying. You can't really tell a dying kid 'no'. We tell Mr and Mrs. Roth about tomorrow and they sound pretty happy with it. Mrs Roth immediatley gets up to go and get some snacks and things for us.

"I love your mom, I wish my mom was like her." I say to him.

"If your mom was like her, you probably wouldn't have ended up in the hospital and I'd never have met you." He kisses my cheek, because we're in front of his dad.

"No, you two kids would have met somehow, you're soul mates." He smiles at us, nothing feels better than being in a relationship that is so supported. Leo and I get into our beds to rest, he falls asleep pretty quickly and his dad goes out to run some errands or something.

He has his list in his back pocket, I gently pull it out so I can compare it to mine. Some of it's pretty basic, play soccer one last time, dance with me again, tell everyone he loves them, but the stuff towards the bottom is way more out there, skydive for charity, get a tattoo, ride the biggest roller coaster in LA, but the very last one is the most shocking. He's doodled all around it, little hearts and things. In big, bold, bubble writing it says 'Marry Alice and die happy.' A huge smile stretches across my face. He wants to marry me. An idea pops into my head, I'm going to propose to him tomorrow on the beach, and marry him right there and then. I'll make sure everyone comes so he'll have no reason to say no. I get my phone out and call Gram to make sure she can come, then I get into my chair and invite Britt, Kenji and Nurse J, but I don't tell them about my plan. I don't want anyone to try and stop me.

I go to the Swamp to get Leo's phone so I can call his two friends, Lauren and Jay, from back home, they've never even met me but they agree to come, they seem really nice. I call Jamie to ask if she'll come, she was discharged from the hospital last week but she agrees to come anyway. Everyone we love will be there and it will be perfect.

I get back into bed and cuddle up next to him, I try not to wake him up but he's a really light sleeper.

"Hi, how do you feel?" He asks, rolling over to face me.

"Not great, but at the same time pretty great."

"Me too." We kiss.

"I want you to know that... I don't want you to see me die, not that I want you to die but I'd rather you go first."

"Well we can't really choose, but what makes you think I'd rather you see me die than vice versa?"

"I've known I was going to see it for a while now, I've kind of prepared myself. Not that anyone can prepare for this. I don't want you to die being so sad. I'll be sad when you die, obviously, but I had this whole plan, but now I'm gonna die and if I die first I'll be really pissed off."

"What was your plan?" He kind of laughs at me.

"I was going to cry for 3 days, then my dad was going to comfort me, I was gonna comfort your parents and the red banders and we were all gonna be okay." He laughs again. "What?"

"You're so weird, you can't plan how you're gonna feel, and how everyone else is gonna feel. You're so sweet, this is why I love you."

"I love you too. I wish we could just die at the same time."

"I wish we could live." He squeezes me and kisses my head. We keep having these moments where we're being all jokey, then we hug and get all serious, thinking about death, it always ends with us kissing and falling asleep. I wake up at about 5 PM, this is the perfect chance for me go and talk to the reb banders, they should know about the surprise wedding, they can help. I leave Leo to sleep and find Jordi, Dash and Emma in the Swamp. I'm kind of glad Kara isn't there because if she knew what I was planning knowing her she'd find a way to ruin it for everyone.

"Hey Alice, how you feelin'?" Dash asks as I roll in.

"Not too bad, Leo and I have slept a lot today. Listen, I have something to ask you guys. I'm going to ask Leo to marry me." Their jaws all drop. "I know he'll say yes so I've invited everyone to the beach tomorrow and straight after I propose we're gonna do it. So, I need your help."

"I would say you're crazy but I kind of get it, you might as well get married now. If you guys were gonna make it you'd tie the knot eventually." Jordi says. "I'm in."

"Yes! Dash, Emma?"

"Well you need a maid of honour, I'm down." Emma hugs me.

"I'm 18 now, so I can officiate you guys." Dash cracks open his laptop. "I'll get ordained online now."

"Dash you're genius, I was just gonna ask Nurse J to do it, but it would be even sicker if you did it!" I hug them all again. "Thank you guys, you have to promise you won't tell anyone though, I don't want anyone trying to get in the way of this, and don't tell Kara, I don't really want her there but I know Leo would so whatever. Thanks again." I roll out, happy with myself.

Leo and I eat dinner in our room with our parents, Leo's mom and dad have been pretty normal compared to my dad. By normal I mean they haven't been hiding their sadness, or denying it, like dad is. Sometimes Leo's mom starts crying out of nowhere and just starts hugging us, she has taken a liking to me. Sometimes Leo and his dad go and spend some time together and she hangs out with me, she showed me the picture of Leo she has in her wallet, it's from when he was like 10 and he has a huge head of bushy hair. He was really cute. She's been alright today though, she just sometimes stares at Leo for a really long time. Mr Roth has to shake her out of her trance every now and then.

Everyone just talks about normal stuff, like baseball and soccer and the weather, but I can't stop thinking about tomorrow. I'm excited for the whole marriage thing, but I'm also excited to feel the sand between my toes. What am I gonna wear? I don't really have any beach clothes. I rack my brain for something appropriate, I have a pair of black shorts that dad bought me and a strappy black and white top, that's kind of beachy. But not very weddingy. It doesn't matter, I can't see me in a white gown anyway. I hope there's not too many other people there, I don't want any strangers ruining the day.

After dinner Leo and I fall asleep again, I dream about the wedding. I have an exact vision of how perfect it's going to be. I'm not nervous, because I know he's right for me and me for him.


	11. Chapter 11

This is it. Today's the big day. Early this morning I snuck out of bed to meet Emma. She'd been planning things for tomorrow, she arranged for some chairs and a flower arch to set up on the beach around the cliff face. Once we're finally done it's just about time to set off, I make Leo put on a nicer shirt, he seems annoyed but he won't be later. The nurses have people covering their shifts so they can come to the beach with us, which is good because if they didn't come it would be so sad. We all set off for the beach in convoy and it only takes like 5 minutes to get there, I would say we could have walked but me and Leo aren't that good on our feet these days. Sam and his dad are meeting us there, Gram's coming too, and Lauren and Jay are going to be waiting for us where the wedding is actually set up, if Leo knew they were before I propose he would catch on and it wouldn't be a surprise.

Jamie meets us at the beach and she looks so different, she's smiling so much.

"How's the group home?" I ask her as we absent-mindedly dig around in the sand.

"I got independent living, I have a job and my own apartment!"

"Congratulations! That's so cool, I'm so proud of you!" I'm also a little bit jealous, but I wouldn't say that to her. We hug.

"Gracie!" I hear Sammy's voice calling me, I turn around and see him running to me across the beach, Gary is a few paces behind him. I get down on my knees and Sammy runs into my arms and squeezes me. He hasn't even noticed how sick I look.

"Hi Gary." I smile at him.

"Come on lets go in the water!" Sammy takes my hand and gently pulls me along with him, all the other kids come in with us too. I have to stop Sammy from full on diving in because he hasn't got a spare change of clothes and I don't him to get cold later. After a few hours of hanging out and talking with everyone, it becomes closer to the time it's supposed to happen. The plan was for me to take Leo on a small walk and when we turn around to go back, everyone is completely silent and that's when I ask, luckily he wanted to go on a walk anyway. So I steer him away from the other side of the cliff so he doesn't see everything set up.

"Are you having a good beach day?" He asks me.

"Yeah, I love it, I didn't quite expect there would be so much sand everywhere," I laugh, "What about you?"

"It's perfect, because I'm with you." He kisses my cheek. I subtly glance back to make sure everyone is getting ready, the grown ups still don't know my plan so they all seem a bit confused. The red banders are making them all get up and wait for us, it's only now I realise Kara didn't even come with us..

"Come on, let's turn back, it's probably time to go home soon." We turn around and he doesn't even notice everyone. "So, I saw your list."

"You did?"

"Number one, play soccer with the old team." I point straight ahead and his high school soccer team are standing with everyone else.

"Oh my God-"

"Number two, beach day, number three, dance with Alice," I turn around and spin in to his arms and we continue to walk, "Number four, skydive for charity," I reach into my pocket and hand him two passes to go skydiving this weekend, "Number five, get a tattoo," I hand him a drawing I made of the flower we had on our corsages at prom, he always said he loved it, "Number six, tell everyone you love them, you do that everyday anyway, number seven, ride the biggest roller coaster in LA. We're doing that after."

"After what? Alice, you're incredible, I love you." He kisses me.

"Number eight," We've reached the group now, I take a step back from Leo, "Marry Alice and die happy." I get down on one knee and take his hand, with my other hand I go in my back pocket and pull out a blue ring pop. "Will you marry me?" I hear my dad and all the others gasp in shock. I don't know if they're happy or not. Leo is the most shocked out of all of them. He doesn't say anything.

"Say yes!" His mom shouts, and soon enough everyone is shouting it too, they all want this for us.

"YES OF COURSE!" Leo shouts and picks me up in his arms and swings me round, he kisses me.

"We're doing it now." I say as he puts me back down.

"What how?" I pull him along as Emma shows everyone the way to where the ceremony is.

"I got ordained bro!" Dash hugs his friend. As we come around the face of the cliff, we see the beautiful set up. There's chairs on either side of the isle which is laid out with white oleanders, the arch is writhing with different coloured flowers.

"Lauren? Jay?" They steal him away from me so he can stand at the top of the isle. My dad comes over to me.

"How long have you had this up your sleeve?"

"Just a day, are you mad?"

"No I'm not mad, you two are great together. As long as I get to give you away, I'm cool with it." We hug.

Everyone has taken their seats and it's time for me to be walked down the isle. Just as I'm about to start walking with my dad, Kara tries to ruin it.

"Wait!" She yells, she's ran all the way hear.

"Kara what are you doing? You can't ruin everything for me!"

"I'm not trying to, I just wanted to give you this." She offers me a bag. I just look at Emma, she's just as confused as I am. Emma reaches into the bag to reveal a white dress, it's beautiful.

"Kara," I touch the soft fabric, "You didn't have to do this."

"I just had to make it up to you, I'm sorry about everything. You were so right before, I do need friends."

"Thank you." I hug her and whisper in her ear, "This means so much."

"Come on, you have to put it on." Emma takes my hand, Jamie takes the dress and the four of us run off to a public bathroom so I can change. I'm so breathless and warn out from being without my wheelchair all day but I don't care, I just want to be his wife. Emma helps me into the dress and it fits like a glove, it's perfect. It goes to just about my knees and it sits off the shoulder, it goes really nicely with my white flip flops. I can't help but laugh at myself for thinking that. Kara tries to make my patchy barely there hair look semi decent and she tucks a strand behind my ear with another white oleander flower.

"You look amazing." She says.

"Thank you." When I'm finally ready, Dad is waiting outside for me, the girls go ahead of me and walk down the isle in front of me. Dad starts walking me down the isle again and I realise he's crying.

"Thank you for this life." I say to him just as he kisses my cheek to give me away. I stand opposite Leo.

"You look better every time I see you, and I don't get how that's possible. You're beautiful." We hold hands, suddenly everyone else in the world drowns out and it's just me and him. I can't pay attention to what Dash is saying, I only snap back into reality when Leo says 'I do'.

"And do you Alice Mackenzie-"

"McAndrew, it's McAndrew." I smile at my dad.

"Do you Alice McAndrew take Leonardo Roth to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Then by the power vested in me by a website, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Everything drowns out again as Leo picks me up and kisses me, all I hear are the muffles cheers of our friends and family. Leo puts me back down and leans to whisper in my ear.

"I'm terrified of roller coasters and skydiving." He laughs.


	12. Chapter 12

Leo wasn't joking about being scared of those things, but we queued up for the roller coaster anyway. I've never been on a roller coaster so I don't have anything to compare it too, so I'm not really scared at all. None of the others wanted to come on with us.

"It'll be fine." I squeeze his hand as we climb into the front seats of the roller coaster, cancer perks. The whole way up the slope on the way to the big drop, Leo is just freaking out and I can't help but laugh hysterically.

"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodwe'regonnadieohmyGod." He wont let go of my hands. He's absolutely hilarious, as soon as we do the drop he starts screaming and then when the ride reaches a consistent pace he starts getting used to it.

"See! It's not so bad!" I shout so he can hear me over the loud wind.

"Not so great either!" He grits his teeth. When we get off we both have to sit down. Leo practically kisses the ground. "Okay I wanna play soccer, come on guys." Leo and his old team head off to the beach, Gary, dad and I take Sam on some rides on the pier, Leo's parents go to watch Leo and everyone else goes home or back to the hospital.

What a day, my name is Alice Roth now. I have a husband. And we're going skydiving this weekend. Who am I? When did I become this person? I used to hate myself, I was beaten down and broken and I thought I would never be happy. Now I can't imagine anything bringing me down.

I say my goodbye to Sammy, trying my best not to cry. I have a feeling I won't see him now. I give him the flower on my ear, he promises to keep it forever.

Back at the hospital Leo tells me about the game he played with his friends and how much fun he had today.

"Thank you for this, Mrs. Roth." He kisses me.

"You're welcome Mr Roth."

"Wow, we kind of sound like my parents."

"You're parents are awesome."

"True."

"I love you, I can't explain how happy I am. And it sounds weird, but, I know I'm going to be happy for the rest of my life because there isn't a lot of it left, but that makes me happy. You know? Like, happiness makes me happy."

"I love you so much."

"I just wanted to say, I'm only 17 and I'm dying, I had an awful life to begin with, but now I feel like I've had a full life, in fact I don't just feel it, I know it. I've lived enough with you for a million life times."

"Everything you say is so beautiful, you know what?" He snuggles up to me. "I can't wait to be eternal with you."

The next week, I began to fade away. We all knew it was happening soon, I'm just happy it happened peacefully.

Leo's POV

It was Friday night, I was getting all of our stuff ready to go sky diving the next day, I didn't think she would be well enough though.

We were married, happy together. She made everything on my list happen. Everything. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect life, she completed me, my leg wasn't my missing piece, it was her.

That night was hard for her, I realised she definitley wouldn't be able to go, she realised that too. But it wouldn't matter, I just wanted to be with her. She'd been in bed all week, usually when she was this bad she'd still be in her chair trying to make the most of her time. But this week has been the worst so far, we both knew it was going to happen soon. People came in to our room everyday, giving us around an hour alone each day. But I understood. She needed to say goodbye. She wouldn't let anyone cry for her, though people did, even Kara shed a tear when she said goodbye. In the evening, she was slipping in an out of consciousness, I had to get her dad and nurse Jackson. I was panicking, I thought it was happening. Dr. McAndrew sat at her bedside well nurse Jackson explained everything to me.

"She'll be falling asleep and waking up a lot over the next few hours, could be anywhere from 3 hours to 24. Sometimes she'll be fully conscious and responsive, sometimes she'll be out cold, and sometimes she'll have her eyes closed and be unresponsive, but she'll be able to hear you. She's said goodbye to a lot of people right?" She asked Dr. McAndrew.

"Everyone but us." I said.

"She will, don't worry Leo." He took my hand and comforted me. Over the next 8 hours, she did exactly what nurse J said she would, at one point she was awake and looking at me, but she was too weak to say anything, she just smiled. She managed to mutter a few words to her dad.

"Dad," She coughed, "I love you. Thank you for finding me." He kissed her head and cried a little bit. "I can feel it, it's happening soon."

"I love you baby." He hugged her. He stood up and went to stand just outside to give us privacy. I climbed into her bed next to her.

"I want to come with you." I said.

"I'll see you soon. I'm in love with you, thanking for loving me back, thank you for letting me love you." She reached behind her pillow and handed me a folded up note. "My real list." I unfolded the paper, it said '1. Make Leo happy' With a check next to it. "I did it."

"Thank you." I cried, I couldn't help it.

"Goodbye, beautiful bald boy." She kissed me. Her dad came back in and took her hand again. She closed her eyes and the machine lets out one long beep.

I don't really remember what happened after that, I just remember waking up without her this morning ready to jump. I'm going to jump out of that plane, she wanted to make me happy, she did, but this was the last thing on my list and we didn't get to do it together, so now I'm doing it for us.

Coma Girl and Bald Boy.


End file.
